all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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