I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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