Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
