i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
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we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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