I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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