she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
