ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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