Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
