Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
