see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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