It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
