If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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