Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Found the puke drawer
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
