You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How does it feel to date your dad?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
