You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
