I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
