Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
