I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
time to smoke my breakfast
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
