i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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