It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
