i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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