And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
