These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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