Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
