I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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