Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
