Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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