I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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