last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
