So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
