If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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