my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
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