I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
