I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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