Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
