I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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