operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
