and my herpes radar will keep us safe
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
they're like a gay fantastic four
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
