you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Randomize
