It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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