You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
