Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
