I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
