It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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