North Korea, Best Korea!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
