how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize