Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
