that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
