So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
