apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
