If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
