his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
