He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
A+ Viking dick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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