I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
