cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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