did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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