My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
