I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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