I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
