so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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