Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
...so i touched it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
