I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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