The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
