just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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