Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
