There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
