Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
