I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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