she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
