Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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