she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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