Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize