Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
