Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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