it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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