I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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