Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize