This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
