I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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